Little Bugs That Bite the Flock

The search for a comfortable pew in an imperfect world.

This message is an edited selection from my new book, Driftwood Saints. To learn more about me and the book or to kindly help me finish it, please Click this link.

Over the course of my life, I have spent time in all kinds of churches. Each place had its own way of worship and teaching. Some were quiet and reflective, while others were livelier and more engaging. Over time, I have come to terms with the different ways we worship. But it was a twisting, bumpy road to get there.

For quite a while, I found myself drawn to more charismatic churches. There was something about the spirited preaching and the strong sense of fellowship that felt like real worship. The energy in those services was revitalizing.

Still, I often found myself feeling out of place. The speaking in tongues, the frequent attributions of miracles, and the belief that either God or the devil was directly involved in everyday occurrences - it often felt overwhelming. I struggled to reconcile these expressions with my own understanding of faith, leaving me wondering if I truly fit.

Wrestling with Belonging

As time went on, I wrestled with the feeling that my beliefs didn’t line up with what I was seeing. I would sit in the pews, enjoying the powerful experience, but there wasn’t peace with it as true worship.

It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in God’s power to move in miraculous ways. I knew He could, and I’d known people whose lives were changed by those very things. Yet, most of the claims of personal miracles or God speaking directly to someone seemed far-fetched. It simply couldn’t be resolved with my own spiritual experience and how I understood the Bible.

So, I began to explore the more traditional side of the faith. I found comfort in the classic liturgy and lectionary Bible readings that had been passed down for centuries by faithful believers. There was enlightenment and healing in the more reverent, expository preaching and congregational elements of worship.

Still, I couldn’t quite get past the fact that there was rarely an invitation to accept Christ or give testimony included in the service. Something seemed a bit too retail and superficial about the traditional worship. So, I drifted away again.